Jakub

i write a lot about
failed artists and writers

and my favourite books
have despondant anti-heros
who live life truly;
as real life is lived -
with great imperfections

and all their goals incomplete
or with great compromises,

and just to make you know it's real
the editors line the books with biographies
of the stories inventor

graduated from
ph d. in
married to
also wrote

a life that's pure, fulfilled
and free of any error,
or noble ones
or ones that were beyond their control

while inside
these little forwards
and biographies

lies something dark and horrible
that you know happens
even sometimes to you

and this character
wants to write a book
but can't
and has to deal with
the strange opportunities
and failures
life permits
because it's real.

(you know it's because
they've been so righteously selfish
in a way you can't be;
where you write about others
and not yourself;
and you keep your life
and that life you want to show
seperately;
and you wonder why you can't be
that selfish
and work on your life;
and not give your life
to the characters in a story
while leaving yourself behind)