2010 dec. 2nd

My life comes to this: I was never given the opportunities to fall into the well respected niches people die out of. I am in a struggle to find my own modest space.

Love is truly the mightiest thing. I can not just love Jesus because I would not love Buddha, Zeus, Moloch, Allah, Ra. Simply because it would be more profitable for me to only follow one path of love -a well trodden one like Christianity- does not mean it is the right one to follow. I love ...long long list of people... I love everyone. I love Charles Manson, I love the two serial killers who went to my school. God is a synonym for love. Humanists put this ultimate power of love and creation in our hands, to love ourselves. I need to tell...not love everyone enough. Every moment of everyone else's life is precious. When you come in contact with someone, you place yourself into them. You literally are a part of them. When you cause them ills, you hurt yourself too. Rastafarians say I and I because in this way we are all one. Empathy is key. Make the lives of other only better. Please. Golden Rule and all. 1 Corinthians 13

wondering about

I wonder about the intrinsic properties of life and people.
Like love.
You can marry animals, be asexual, a sosciopath, schizoid, schizophrenic, love-shy, paralyzed completely, and about to die. You can bend love but never break it. The potential is always there, always apparent. There is nothing in the world that can completely take away an individual's ability to love another.
Why is that? If we were truly asexual, I mean, we reproduced completely on our own, would we not love? Is love as necessary to life as everything else in the Universe that is?
Will we ever dissect it like Einstein, in a human theory of Relativity, down to abstractions and universals? Something floating above our heads, always shining down on us, but ungraspable. I wanna stretch my love out forever, and let it touch everyone I have ever come in contact with.
Like a snail's slime trail. I wanna make you especially sticky, on me, with me, inside and out.

BEGINNING OF SEX AND BEAUTY

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Jakub?

people will build their lives from the outside looking in (science, objectivism), and from the inside looking out (art, subjectivism). if we live completely on one end, we are not human, on the other, we are no longer a part of this external universe, we are in Nirvana. the massive organizational system of the human brain is so complicated, and there is so much variety in the universe that no two people are the same. we all inhabit different spaces on this spectrum which is just as vast as we can imagine.

life is what you make of the world, what you make of yourself, and what the world makes of you. Goodluck chemical pilgrims.

what if we are imprinting the organizational system of computers into our brains
that's why we are getting smarter and smarter generation after generation, the thought
thought structures we are internalizing are evolving as ideas turning to reality through
our brain. our brain itself is a direct manifestation of ideas, as what we learn affects its
chemical shape and organization.
even our genes, what we think is sexy changes too.
what we want our babies to look like, to be.
what are you gonna do about it, just sit there and think about what i just told you?
think about it being a pile of pseudo intellectuale garbage, categorize it, embed it.
why would you ever want to limit how far you'd want to think about anything,
because our brain can only get so complicated before it can't

i dont get it. why the fuck is are bad thoughts gross and all stupid anyway. what did your chemistry develop into.
what will happen to us, universe, as you age more. how complex can you get.
why is this the exception and not the norm. (is it? it's what we're predicting now, as far as i'm aware) does the universe get more complicated until all the organization/knowledge in the universe reaches a critical velocity and gets out of it's interdimensional shell.
is the universe an electron about to jump from S to P, or D to F.
i am so stoned.
are we there yet? where are the nachos?


even if i don't edit it now i will later, when i'm older than i am today.

Oak Tree in Winter at Lacock Abbey
William Henry Fox Talbot, Bro-togropher

I can't sleep at night

Man is almost ready to start creating his own elements out of Hydrogen. We will be able to make Helium soon, because there are intensely curious people out there. A bunch of them are in a building in Europe right now, and what they think they can do is create tiny stars, right here, on the surface of the Earth. Somewhere else in Europe in a giant tunnel underground, there are other curious people who are trying to recreate the Big Bang, while looking for something tinier than an electron. This program was funded by what in America would be condemned as 'socialism', or too expensive to be made by the Government. Monsanto creates their very own brands of life, and owns the copyright to the genetic codes of a lot of the food we eat. One day we will eat viruses or something like them that will 'cure' us of genetic illnesses, even cancer.
People are on their way to understand how Proteins are created. You can help them by whoring out your computer's unused resources here: http://folding.stanford.edu/ We will one day recreate our own type of 'life' that does not rely on DNA, and is fundamentally different from anything in this World. We are almost at a point that we could change our bodies.
You can talk to anybody in the world, at any time, on a cellphone. People can live in the imaginary 'internet' we've made, where the world's thoughts mingle like a giant brain.
Within the next couple of decades we're going to make machines that are smarter than us. So some of your kids, grandkids or maybe if you're lucky enough then even YOU won't be 'human' any more.
Homo Sapiens are going to go extinct after we evolve.

Please people, enjoy your infancy, play with each other.

what the fuck

So, Humanity has for the most part been a power struggle. By humanity I mean all life extending into humanity, by all life i mean ever, by ever I mean, everything in the universe ever. The universe literally expanded out of nothing, eventually it will expand into nothing, I mean pure noise, entropy, even that might die, it'll all just turn to perfect stillness given enough (approaching infinity or something) time. Life is the means of organizations in the universe, when the most successful life eventually fills the entire universe, if it ever could get to that point without being destroyed, will fill the entire universe with it's noise, turn it into a perfect, uniform, something, if everything within the universe is relative, and it is relative only to itself, for there is nothing else, it would be completely redundant, like nothing. The power struggle behind evolution, to always fill a niche and stay atop of other species in the game of survival, where competing players become constantly more adept to their environments, evolve into things that can think to survive, to outdo other competitors who wish to fill their niche, to compete for countries, continents, people's minds, the world's resources, power, who race eachother to the moon, who try to kill each other for their ideas, that 'we' are better and more deserving than the other group. Our power struggle is only awful personally, to individual human beings, just like death is, but for the organism of 'humanity' which is part of the universe. It is the essence of progress, as long as a system exists, it is circumventable, as argued by Godel, when he dismantled the principia mathematica, and by Douglas Hofstadter in his book, Godel, Escher, Bach. All these different, random flukes, created by the fate of being made of the right stuff, in the right place,  at the right time in the universe. If the universe is infinite (which is a big if), or even if there is an infinite multi-verse, if there are an infinite amount of possibilities that could ever exist, we, the 'stuff' of the universe are different patterns of randomness, different patterns of entropy, competing to fill and make the most effective use of our 'resources', our space-time. There must be, somewhere in this infinite universe or multiverse, some pattern of entropy, some form of 'life', that could possibly imagine beyond their universe, beyond their dimensions of existence, and eventually or suddenly (since time would not exist to these inter-dimensional beings) fill the universe with it's blank, even, repeating pattern. In their last moments, they could restart it, throw another rock in the pool and create chaos where there was none once again, another big bang, the universe expanding from nothing again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_cognition
(hold on i'll edit this, once I sleep)

Well then, let's get started.

     Welcome, Jakub, and the handful of readers who are ever going to read this. I brought you here to listen.  I guess I'll start by telling you I made this blog to try and re-arrange my online internet presence. Basically by taking myself mostly off Facebook and spreading everywhere else. I want to do significantly more blogging than hyper-blogging. It's not as simple of a medium, but much more lucid. Unfit for an age where attention spans spans are sinking down the quick-sand of lost human talent.
    Mostly I feel like the whole idea of Facebook is creeping me out. It's like (as I wrote on Facebook): "corporations own the rights to my friends. I can't believe how many people need computers to do the most natural and simple of human tasks, literal 'social networking' addicts. You are turning into a machine one post at a time. Long after you're dead facebook will still be making money off the virtual soul you handed to them, kept warm-buzzing on their servers," and "i am just as guilty as the rest. even if it's not truly evil it's just totally fucking weird." The fact that Facebook is becoming the main medium for communicating so many things in the modern age is so scary. Imagine if canvasses were all owned by one company and you could paint on them, but the company has the right to your canvas, and what's on that canvas, but it'll display it for you, make money off you, so on. It's like you're whoring your mind out for convenience, sort of being conned into it. At least I feel as if Google is a less evil company, even if they are trying to amalgamate all of your information in the exact same way, at least they'll offer to pay me for it. It's much simpler as well to take Myself down and pick up everything I've made here and put it somewhere else. Which I hopefully will do eventually.

    I need to write. I need to get better at it. To stop sounding like a pretentious asshole and just like a real asshole (pbfffffffffffbfffffffft...splunk). I want this to turn into a sampler of all my ideas, images, writing, totally unrestricted, total pornography. I want to test new ground, I want people to see how I'll test the ice of anonymity and online identity, I want to flood the world with the spunk of my soul, trap people in it's foul stickiness, impregnate their minds with my dirt and never pay child support. Even if it takes years, even if it's just a couple of you. I want you all to feel me inside of you, the parts of me that matter most wriggling around bringing you ecstasy, deep emotional trauma, indifference. Nous.